The Previously Married In Heaven

Biblegems #185

Question: For someone who decides to marry more than once (1Cor. 7:39), wouldn’t it be a bit awkward to be in heaven with your multiple spouses. How does that work?

This question echoes the dilemma presented to Jesus by the Sadducees in Matthew 22:24-28 regarding the widow who remarries seven times: Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”

        

Paul writes, “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord…” (1Cor. 7:39. See Biblegems #120). He is stating the biblical principle that remarriage breaks the “bond” between a husband and wife. So the answer to the Sadducees would be that the widowed woman in heaven would only be married to the seventh husband.

Of course, the problem with that is, where does that leave the other six husbands who all thought they would be married to this woman in heaven? What about their happiness? What about the ‘awkward’ moments in heaven when they see each other?

The answer has to do with the nature of heaven itself and our relationship with God in our eternal home. The Scripture tells us that there will be “no more tears” in heaven (Rev. 21:4). Our union with God will be so complete, so perfect and so satisfying that there will be no room for even the slightest twinge of disappointment, awkwardness or emotional pain. “No more tears,” describes a completely new reality of existence where the emotional pain we often suffer here on earth will be as impossible as shadows on the face of the sun.

God has designed marriage to reflect His own complex, relational nature — One God in three persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit — through the complex relationship and intimate union of husband and wife. That very special union, to be healthy and mutually satisfying, requires that both people love the other so much that each is willing to die to their own self interests for the sake of the other. Marriage is not about how much my spouse can bring me happiness, love and fulfillment but about dying to myself to provide that love for my spouse. Marriage is a lifetime of learning to give myself away for the blessing, joy and fulfillment of my spouse, even as “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son…” (Jn. 3:16).

The reason there will be no awkwardness, no tears and no regrets in heaven, even for those who encounter a former spouse, or for those who never married at all, is that in heaven “the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them…” (Rev. 21:3). Our intimate union with God will be so complete, so saturated in His selfless love as He “dwells with us” and “lives with us” — and as we selflessly live with Him — that the earthly love of marriage carried into eternity with our spouse will be seen for what it truly is: a beautiful glimmer in the glorious intimacy of God’s measureless love.

Still Married In Heaven?

Biblegems #120

Question: Marriage, like family as a whole and government systems, is an institution made by God. Would it be too much conjecture that marital relations last beyond the grave for believers? It would be rather awkward to meet one’s “former spouse” during heavenly celebrations. What will the relation with one’s spouse be in heaven, if two Christians pass away?

To answer this question a distinction needs to be drawn between the institution of marriage and the condition of being married. As far as the institution goes, marriage is a covenant relationship established by God that is intended to provide and protect a monogamous, lifelong bond between one man and one woman. Therefore, upon the death of a spouse the surviving spouse is free to marry.

1 Cor. 7:39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord (cf. Rom. 7:2).

But marriage is far more than a covenantal institution. Marriage is a state of being, a fact that both society and often the church are ignorant of. From the very beginning, God established marriage as a union between a man and a woman that transcends laws and institutions. As it says in Genesis:

         Gen. 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

The word we translate “united” comes from a Hebrew word meaning “to glue.” Picture several sheets of paper glued together with super-glue. What happens if you try to separate the sheets once the glue has cured? This is the picture of a man and woman united together in marriage. They have not simply signed a legal contract; they have “become one.” Even the phrase “one flesh” means more than sexual union; it is a word image portraying a new entity. Those who were two are now something else—they are one new entity.

This is why the Sadducees were so off the mark when they ridiculed Jesus for believing in the resurrection of the body.

         Matt. 22:24-28 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”

Jesus’ response that they neither knew the Scripture nor the power of God regarding this issue (Matt. 22:29-30) points up the biblical truth that there is indeed a resurrection, and that the two who have become one will enjoy that union throughout eternity. There will be no more marriage ceremonies in heaven (Matt. 22:30), but the believing husband and wife  will share together the gift of eternal life:

         1 Pet. 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life…

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